


Dear Dean

by entangledarcher



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Letter, M/M, Sad, Sam writes letter to Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-03 10:22:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5287025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/entangledarcher/pseuds/entangledarcher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam writes a letter to Dean about his death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Dean

Dear Dean,  
I've done something you're going to be enraged at. I've been hanging out with lucifer in my dreams. 

Your probably upset now because I didn't tell you. I can't blame you. In the beginning I didn't trust him; I mean who would? But the longer I spent with him in my dreams, the more and more I trusted him. 

We would go on different adventures and try different things. We would take turns picking sometimes we would go mountain clitwembing; to beaches; rollerblading; and other things. 

But the one I remember the most was the time we were skating on a frozen pond in the winter with Christmas lights everywheres.

I had fallen down on my butt, and I remember he laughed so hard. His laugh would always fill me with such happiness and warmth. 

The noises of surprise he made when I took his offered hand (to help me up) only to pull him down on top of me. 

I remember lying there on my back on the ice with him on top of me. It was cold; but I was so happy and content I didn't care. 

While observing the way the cold reddened his cheeks and the snowflakes clung to his eyelashes. I realized something. 

I was in love with lucifer. 

It wasn't some little crush that would go away. It was the kind of love where I wanted to live with him; start a family together; grow old together. 

It broke my heart Dean, knowing that we couldn't have that. We couldn't have that because of the apocalypse. Even if he didn't want to go through with it. It didn't matter, the apocalypse was in the makings and Michael would see it through no matter what. 

I remember gazing into his blue eyes that I constantly got lost in; whispering "I love you" as tears left frozen tracks down my face. 

His eyes softened for he knew what I was thinking. He also knew that we couldn't be together. 

It made my life; yet it broke me Dean, to hear him respond back with the same words. 

It broke my heart beyond repair knowing there was no 'happily ever after' for us in the works, not even a 'ever after'. 

He told me in the beginning of the dreams that he hadn't that much power to use because he was in the pit. He couldn't bring me back to life

Do you know what I did Dean? I gave up. My heart was broken because I couldn't be with him. So I gave up. 

I told him goodbye the next night. I can still hear his screams and cries Dean; the way he begged me to stay. The way his shrieks echoed through the palm trees in Hawaii. 

I couldn't stay long. Because Dean, my already broken heart was being shattered into even tinier pieces. I stayed until his screams stopped. I couldn't wait for the tears to stop because it was hurting me to see him in so much pain. 

I didn't sleep for nights Dean. I tricked you into thinking I did, or maybe I didn't. When you weren't around when there were demons and witches I didn't fight as hard. Until one night.... I didn't fight at all. 

I'm sorry that I left you. But it was to hard. I'm sorry Dean, I hope you can forgive me.   
Love, Sammy

P.S. Tell lucifer I love him if you see him.


End file.
